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Tom Raymond
Tom Raymond is a professional computer, programmer, and writer, with a love for the classic comedy team of Abbott and Costello
Do you yearn for her?
Do you yearn for her? – From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Spanish Acting School” Bud tries to teach Lou the meaning of the word ‘yearn’ (to long for, to desire …)
Read More »Do you yearn for her?Abbott and Costello talk about marriage
Abbott and Costello talk about marriage – Taken from their radio program, Bud Abbott and Lou Costello joke about marriage – in real life, Lou Costello was a happily married man, but you can’t tell by these jokes!
Lou Costello: I don’t believe in marriage, Abbott. Marriage is like soup.
Read More »Abbott and Costello talk about marriage
Teller in the Bank
Teller in the Bank – From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Marilyn Learns to Drive” – Bud tells Lou what position his brother has in his job at the bank. A joke in the same vein as their classic “Who’s on First?” routine
Lou Costello: Can you recommend anybody to help me with my taxes?
Bud Abbott: Sure, my brother can help you. He works in the bank.
Lou Costello: Oh, sure, my mother wanted me to ask you what he does in the bank?
Bud Abbott: Teller.
Lou Costello: As soon as you tell me.
Bud Abbott: Teller in the bank.
Lou Costello: Tell’er in the bank? How can I tell ‘er in the bank when you won’t tell me!
Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house
Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house – Proving that everything old is new again, Lou Costello is trying to figure out how to save up enough money for a down payment on a house – from the Abbott and Costello radio program, “Lou Builds a House”
Bud Abbott: How do you plan to save enough money to buy a house?Read More »Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house
I’m quite the fisherman
I’m quite the fisherman – Bud Abbott and Lou Costello joke about Bud being a fisherman, from the song “Laugh, Laugh, Laugh”
Bud Abbott: I’m quite the fisherman, Costello?
Lou Costello: What makes you a fisherman?Read More »I’m quite the fisherman
Women are putty in my hands
Women are putty in my hands – From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Nylon Stockings” – where Bud tries to brag to Lou about his ability to handle women
Bud Abbott: Leave it to me, women are putty in my hands.Read More »Women are putty in my hands
She’s penny wise
She’s penny wise – From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Driving Lessons with Marilyn” – Lou talks about his would-be romance with the beautiful Marilyn Maxwell
Lou Costello: There’s only one problem with our romance; She’s penny wise.
Bud Abbott: Marilyn’s penny wise?Read More »She’s penny wise
Abbott and Costello talk about horses
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello talk about horses – a joke from Abbott and Costello’s radio show, April 28, 1948
Bud Abbott: Talk sense. What do you know about horses.
Lou Costello: Abbott, I was born on a horse.
Read More »Abbott and Costello talk about horses
Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows
Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows – an imaginary conversation where Abbott tries to tell Costello how to shut down Microsoft Windows
(Editorâs note: the great comedy team of Abbott and Costello passed away before either Bud Abbott or Lou Costello could have used Microsoft Windowsâ¢âbut isn’t it funny to imagine that they had?)
Lou Costello: Hey, Abbot!
Bud Abbott: Yes, Lou?
Lou Costello: I just got my first computer.
Bud Abbott: Thatâs great Lou. What did you get?
Lou Costello: A brand new 2 Gighertz Pentium with 4 Gigabyte of RAM, a Terabyte hard drive, and a 48x CD-ROM.
Bud Abbott: Thatâs terrific, Lou.
Lou Costello: But I donât know what any of it means!Read More »Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows