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Herd of Cows

Milking a Cow - Lou Costello, Bud Abbott

Herd of Cows – classic Abbott and Costello routine

Herd of Cows is a classic example of Abbott and Costello’s word play, where Lou mistakes the word “herd” for “heard” – enjoy! This version comes from the Abbott and Costello Show, The Western Story

Lou Costello: Hey, Abbott, isn’t it beautiful country out here?
Bud Abbott: Wonderful.
Lou Costello: Look at all those cows out there. Get that big bunch of cows.
Bud Abbott: Not bunch – herd.
Lou Costello: Huh?
Bud Abbott: Cow herd.
Lou Costello: I beg your pardon?
Bud Abbott: Cow herd.
Lou Costello: Cow heard what?
Bud Abbott: Not herd what – cow herd.
Lou Costello: Cow heard what? I said look at that big bunch of cows out there.
Bud Abbott: Not bunch – herd! Herd of cows!
Lou Costello: Certainly I heard of cows, you dope. Any fool knows a cow when he sees it. That’s a good bunch of cows I said.
Bud Abbott: It’s a herd of cows.
Lou Costello: Yeah, I heard of cows.
Bud Abbott: That’s what they are.
Lou Costello: A bunch of cows?
Bud Abbott: Sure, a bunch is a herd.
Lou Costello: A bunch is a herd?
Bud Abbott: Certainly. What’s the matter?
Lou Costello: Like bananas. Look at that bananas of cows out there.

Additional cow humor from The Abbott and Costello Radio Show episode, “English Butler

Bud Abbott: I’m no mood.
Lou Costello: What kind of mood?
Bud Abbott: A cow mood.
Lou Costello: A cow mooed? Let ’em!

Bud Abbott: A cow gives you milk.
Lou Costello: Oh, no it doesn’t! You gotta take it from ’em!

Bud Abbott: Not skin, hide.
Lou Costello: Why should I hide? I didn’t do nothin’!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no. Hide on the cow.
Lou Costello: How’m I gonna hide on a cow?
Bud Abbott: Just a minute, please listen to me. Hide, hide! A cow’s outside!
Lou Costello: Bring her in! Let her listen to the program!

And a personal favorite:

Bud Abbott:Hide! Hide, the cow’s outside.

Lou Costello: Who’s afraid of a cow?

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