Abbott and Costello routines

Routines and skits, made famous by the great comedy team of Abbott and Costello

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello do their mustard routine in The Abbott and Costello Show episode, Police Rookies

Abbott and Costello’s Hot Dog and Mustard Sketch

by Tom Raymond
April 2, 2022April 12, 2022

Alexander 4444

by Tom Raymond
December 11, 2021December 13, 2021

The payphone sketch – Alexander 4444

The payphone sketch, aka Alexander 4444, an old burlesque comedy sketch. From The Abbott and Costello Show episode, Hungry. Bud Abbott wants Lou Costell to call the Fields Employment Agency, to find a job. After Lou clownishly damages the phone book, he calls the operator. And she immediately hangs up on him!

A Loan in the bank

by Tom Raymond
November 18, 2021November 19, 2021

From the Abbott and Costello Show episode, Alaska, we get the classic “a loan in the bank” routine, where Bud Abbot wants Lou Costello to get “a loan”, but Lou misinterprets it as “alone”. And then, since the point of the loan is to get money to go to Alaska and get some sled dogs, there’s a second misunderstanding about “mush”.

Greenhouse routine [Abbott and Costello]

by Tom Raymond
July 23, 2021April 12, 2022

From the Jail episode of the Abbott and Costello Show. Where Bud Abbott confuses Lou Costello with the meaning of the word “greenhouse” …. Enjoy!

A very funny bit that Sid Fields did many times, including on their radio show, is to have Sid take offense at something that Lou Costello says. Every time that Lou says anything. It’s a funny routine, provided that doesn’t go on too long. The example below is from The Abbott and Costello Show episode, The Birthday Party.

Sid Fields takes offense

by Tom Raymond
May 23, 2020March 24, 2021

A very funny bit that Sid Fields did many times, including on their radio show, is to have Sid take offense at something that Lou Costello says. Every time that Lou says anything. It’s a funny routine, provided that doesn’t go on too long. The example below is from The Abbott and Costello Show episode, The Birthday Party.

Alright Piano Routine - from the Abbott and Costello Show, where Lou is trying to impress Hillary's father with his musical ability. Although he doesn't have any, with Bud Abbott's help, and a phonograph record, he tries to fake it!

Alright Piano Routine [Abbott and Costello Show]

by Tom Raymond
October 2, 2017April 19, 2022

Alright Piano Routine – from the Abbott and Costello Show episode, The Music Lovers, where Lou is trying to impress Hillary’s father with his musical ability. Although he doesn’t have any, with Bud Abbott’s help, and a phonograph record, he tries to fake it!

Drill Routine

by Tom Raymond
October 1, 2017March 26, 2021

The Drill Routine, as performed by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello in the film “Buck Privates“

The also did a reprise of it on TV in The Abbott and Costello ShowRead More »Drill Routine

Milk a cow - Lou Costello and Bud Abbott

Milking a Cow

by Tom Raymond
September 29, 2017May 8, 2021

Abbott and Costello’s milking a cow routine, done in the movie Ride ’em Cowboy as well as on television in the Abbott and Costello Show episode, The Western Story – Lou misunderstand “udder” vs “other”Read More »Milking a Cow

I’ve got twenty, too

by Tom Raymond
September 24, 2017June 14, 2022

I’ve got twenty, two – math clown skit

This is a classic Abbott and Costello skit, relying on Lou Costello mistaking the phrase “twenty, too” for the number “twenty-two” — taken from the Abbott and Costello film, Rio Rita, where Bud and Lou are trying to divide forty pieces of fruit evenly among themselves …

Loafing - Bud Abbott confuses Lou Costello about loafing around vs. making loaves of bread -- loafing -- at a bakery

Abbott and Costello loafing script

by Tom Raymond
September 16, 2017June 14, 2022

A classic Abbott and Costello routine, where Lou Costello misunderstands that by “loafing” — Bud Abbott means that he’s making loaves of bread in a bakery; not loafing around the house like Costello! Taken from their classic television series, The Abbott and Costello Show episode, Getting a Job.