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Do you yearn for her?

Do you yearn for her?

Do you yearn for her? –  From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Spanish Acting School” Bud tries to teach Lou the meaning of the word ‘yearn’ (to long for, to desire …)

Do you yearn for her?
Teller in the Bank

Teller in the Bank

Teller in the Bank –  From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Marilyn Learns to Drive” – Bud tells Lou what position his brother has in his job at the bank. A joke in the same vein as their classic “Who’s on First?” routine

Lou Costello: Can you recommend anybody to help me with my taxes?
Bud Abbott: Sure, my brother can help you.   He works in the bank.
Lou Costello: Oh, sure, my mother wanted me to ask you what he does in the bank?
Bud Abbott: Teller.
Lou Costello: As soon as you tell me.
Bud Abbott: Teller in the bank.
Lou Costello: Tell’er in the bank?   How can I tell ‘er in the bank when you won’t tell me!

Teller in the Bank
Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house - Proving that everything old is new again, Lou Costello is trying to figure out how to save up enough money for a down payment on a house - from the Abbott and Costello radio program, "Lou Builds a House"

Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house

Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house –  Proving that everything old is new again, Lou Costello is trying to figure out how to save up enough money for a down payment on a house – from the Abbott and Costello radio program, “Lou Builds a House”

Bud Abbott: How do you plan to save enough money to buy a house?Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house

She's penny wise - From the Abbott and Costello radio show, "Driving Lessons with Marilyn" - Lou talks about his would-be romance with the beautiful Marilyn Maxwell

She’s penny wise

She’s penny wise –  From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Driving Lessons with Marilyn” – Lou talks about his would-be romance with the beautiful Marilyn Maxwell

Lou Costello: There’s only one problem with our romance; She’s penny wise.

Bud Abbott: Marilyn’s penny wise?She’s penny wise

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows - an imaginary conversation where Abbott tries to tell Costello how to shut down Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows – an imaginary conversation where Abbott tries to tell Costello how to shut down Microsoft Windows

(Editor’s note: the great comedy team of  Abbott and Costello  passed away before either Bud Abbott or Lou Costello could have used Microsoft Windows™—but isn’t it funny to imagine that they had?)

Lou Costello: Hey, Abbot!

Bud Abbott: Yes, Lou?

Lou Costello: I just got my first computer.

Bud Abbott: That’s great Lou. What did you get?

Lou Costello: A brand new 2 Gighertz Pentium with 4 Gigabyte of RAM, a Terabyte  hard drive, and a 48x CD-ROM.

Bud Abbott: That’s terrific, Lou.

Lou Costello: But I don’t know what any of it means!Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello talk about Lou's new dog, a Christmas present from Mrs. Niles - from the Abbott and Costello radio show

Abbott and Costello talk about Lou’s new dog

Abbott and Costello talk about Lou’s new dog, a Christmas present from Mrs. Niles – from the Abbott and Costello radio show

(From Abbott and Costello’s radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if I’d have been wearing a license plate, he’d have gotten the last three numbers.

Abbott and Costello talk about Lou’s new dog