The Charity Bazaar – The Abbott and Costello Show, season 1, episode 10
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello help Hillary Brooke sell tickets to a charity bazaar. While Lou tells Hillary the “sad” story of his life, Sid Fields “initiates” Bud Abbott into the “buzzing bee” club — and Bud decides to play the trick on Lou. spitting the water on Lou. To make Lou’s hurt feelings better, Bud offers to be the “queen bee” — only to secretly have a mouthful of water, and turn the table on him each time Lou circles around him. This turns into an extended, very funny bit, as they start to crack up at the thought, and are having trouble keeping their mouths shut.
The boys then go to a kissing booth, where Lou keeps paying a dollar, kissing the girl — and stealing the dollar back from her purse in order to get another kiss.
After the intermission, Lou tries to sell his remaining tickets to a stagehand he doesn’t like but ends up getting punched and defrauded. On their way back, Stinky (Joe Besser) dressed as a cowboy and wants Lou to play with him — which doesn’t work well, of course.
Back at the charity bazaar, Bud does “the old Navy game” — Bud’s cheating variation on the Cups and Balls, aka, the Lemon Gag, which they previously did in In the Navy. He begins by conning Sid Fields, and then Lou, and then both of them together. Lou gets increasingly frustrated until a young lady comes by to play the game, giving Bud an opportunity to pull the classic “two tens for a five” routine on Lou, ending with the “pick a number” routine, losing money first to Bud, then to Sid Fields. Eventually, Lou and Sid realize the “fruit stand” and try to get their revenge on Bud by loading the cups with lemons. finishing with a gargantuan lemon that can’t fit through Bud’s hole in the table.
- The Lemon Gag
- Busy Bee
Quotes from The Charity Bazaar – The Abbott and Costello Show
Lou: When I was six years old, that’s when the biggest blow of my life came. I had to leave home.
Hillary Brooks: Oh, Louis, why?
Lou: My brother Pat, he was always bathing me in the bathtub.
Hillary: Well, I know lots of brothers who give their little brothers baths.
Lou: Face down?
Hillary: Louis, did you ever ride a jackass?
Hillary: You better get onto yourself.
Bud: That’s all you think of, is kissing girls. Do you realize that a man in a few years could kiss thousands and thousands of girls? Then he’s a has-been.
Lou: Yeah, but look where he has been!
Lou: What was that song?
Nicla Di Bruno: That meant, “Kiss me, baby” in Italian.
Lou: I’d kiss you in any language …