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Tom Raymond

Tom Raymond is a professional computer, programmer, and writer, with a love for the classic comedy team of Abbott and Costello

I bet you that you're not here -€” Abbott and Costello routine

I bet you that you’re not here

I bet you that you’re not here – Abbott and Costello routine

In the movie  The Noose Hangs High, there’s a very funny routine, where Abbott and Costello are being guarded by a gangster — and  Bud Abbott  decides to bet their warden that Bud can prove that the gangster isn’t there!   It’s a classic piece of clown logic, that gets even better when the gangster decides to win his money back by making the same bet with  Lou Costello — only for Lou to turn the tables on him!  

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Abbott and Costello skit, Gold Ore

Gold Ore

Abbott and Costello skit,  Gold Ore

Taken from  Abbott and Costello‘s radio show, although they also did the same basic routine in  Lost in Alaska, and in their  TV show  as well.   The basic premise is that Lou Costello’s Uncle has struck gold in Alaska, and Lou and Mr. Fields discuss mining for gold ..

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Dyeing Routine

Dyeing Routine

A classic Abbott and Costello routine from their radio show – where Bud Abbott is talking about his Uncle Herman who works in a dye factory, and Lou Costello confuses “dyeing” for “dying” — with minimal effort, it could be turned into a gospel ministry skit, at the end the clown taking Bud’s part talking about dying, spiritual death and eternal life.

Bud Abbott: You’d better take that suit over to my Uncle Herman’s, At the Kurt Dry Cleaning Plant.
Lou Costello: Dry Cleaning Plant? What’s your Uncle Herman doing there?
Bud Abbott: Well this is Wednesday, He’s dyeing today.
Lou Costello:  That’s terrible Abbott, I didn’t even know he was sick.Read More »Dyeing Routine

Two Tens for a five routine, made famous by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

A Dollar a Day

A dollar a day routine, made famous by Abbott and Costello

A Dollar A Day is a classic vaudeville skit, made famous by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, where Lou Costello has been working for Bud Abbott for the last year for the “princely” sum of one dollar per day—and Bud Abbott finds one reason after another to keep deducting wages, and deducting, and deducting …

It was first shown in their first movie, One Night in the Tropics, but the version displayed below is taken from their popular radio show.

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Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd - Lou and Bud find the treasure map

Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd

Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd  (1952) starring Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Charles Laughton, Hillary Brooke

In  Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd  two waiters, Oliver “Puddin’ Head” Johnson (Lou Costello) and Rocky Stonebridge (Bud Abbott) are on their way to work at Death’s Head Tavern on the pirate hangout on the island of Tortuga. There they encounter Lady Jane (Fran Warren). She asks them to bring a love note to the singer at the tavern, Bruce Martingale (Bill Shirley).

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Captain Jonah and the Whale routine, made famous by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

Captain Jonah and the Whale

Captain Jonah and the Whale routine, made famous by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

One of Abbott and Costello’s lesser-known routines, but performed by  Bud Abbott and Lou  Costello in their first movie  One Night in the Tropics, in “Here Come the Co-Eds“, on their television show episode “The Drug Store“, and also on the Colgate television show. The “Here Come the Co-Eds” version is perfect, as they perform it in a classroom of co-eds for audience reaction, and this is transcribed from that version. Bud and Lou are janitors dusting a classroom, where the girls are writing some jokes for the school play. The sympathy Lou gets from the girls adds to the atmosphere of the routine, unlike any other version. Much of the humor comes from the rapid-fire delivery of the lines, that Abbott and Costello were masters of.Read More »Captain Jonah and the Whale

Abbott and Costello's Jack in the Beanstalk

Jack and the Beanstalk

Abbott and Costello in Jack and the Beanstalk (1952) starring Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Buddy Baer

Jack and the Beanstalk is one of the only two films that  Abbott and Costello made in color.   It is a children’s movie that adults can enjoy as well.   The beginning and ending of the movie are filmed in black and white, with Bud and Lou playing their typical characters.  Bud Abbott  bosses around and takes advantage of  Lou Costello. Although that changes slightly at the end of the movie.  Bud having Lou work as a babysitter for an obnoxious child, who hits Lou on the head and launches the main part of the movie. Lou dreams in color of the story of  Jack and the Beanstalk.

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