Abbott and Costello skit – Loan me 50 dollars
One of the classic Abbott and Costello routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money. The skit ends with a simple ‘read my mind’ routine that takes Lou’s last remaining bill. This routine was done many times, both in the movies and their radio show.
Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I canât. I canât loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I canât. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and youâll owe me 10
Lou Costello: Ok, Iâll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: Thatâs right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: Thatâs right. [Pause] But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Donât change the subject.
Lou Costello: Iâm not changing the subject; youâre trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, thereâs your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: Iâm paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I donât know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: Thatâs the way you feel about it, thatâs the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and youâll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: Iâm not running in, youâre pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I canât help it if you canât handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, hereâs your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, wonât loan a pal $50.
Lou Costello: How can I loan you 50, all I got now is 10?
Bud Abbott: Wait a minute, to show you that Iâm your pal, want to double that?
Lou Costello: Go ahead [Give Abbott 10 bill] See ya later.
Bud Abbott: Wait a minute. I donât want that kind of money. On the up and up. Pick a number between 1 and 10.
Lou Costello: ok
Bud Abbott: Is it even or odd?
Lou Costello: Even
Bud Abbott: Is the number between 1 and 3?
Lou Costello: No
Bud Abbott: Between 3 and 5?
Lou Costello: No. I think I got him.
Bud Abbott: Between 5 and 7!
Lou Costello: Yes
Bud Abbott: Number 6
Lou Costello: Right!…Howâd he do that? [Pause] Heyâ¦