Skip to content
Teller in the Bank

Teller in the Bank

Teller in the Bank –  From the Abbott and Costello radio show, “Marilyn Learns to Drive” – Bud tells Lou what position his brother has in his job at the bank. A joke in the same vein as their classic “Who’s on First?” routine

Lou Costello: Can you recommend anybody to help me with my taxes?
Bud Abbott: Sure, my brother can help you.   He works in the bank.
Lou Costello: Oh, sure, my mother wanted me to ask you what he does in the bank?
Bud Abbott: Teller.
Lou Costello: As soon as you tell me.
Bud Abbott: Teller in the bank.
Lou Costello: Tell’er in the bank?   How can I tell ‘er in the bank when you won’t tell me!

Read More »Teller in the Bank
Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house - Proving that everything old is new again, Lou Costello is trying to figure out how to save up enough money for a down payment on a house - from the Abbott and Costello radio program, "Lou Builds a House"

Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house

Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house –  Proving that everything old is new again, Lou Costello is trying to figure out how to save up enough money for a down payment on a house – from the Abbott and Costello radio program, “Lou Builds a House”

Bud Abbott: How do you plan to save enough money to buy a house?Read More »Lou Costello tries to figure out how to save enough money to buy a house

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows - an imaginary conversation where Abbott tries to tell Costello how to shut down Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows – an imaginary conversation where Abbott tries to tell Costello how to shut down Microsoft Windows

(Editor’s note: the great comedy team of  Abbott and Costello  passed away before either Bud Abbott or Lou Costello could have used Microsoft Windows™—but isn’t it funny to imagine that they had?)

Lou Costello: Hey, Abbot!

Bud Abbott: Yes, Lou?

Lou Costello: I just got my first computer.

Bud Abbott: That’s great Lou. What did you get?

Lou Costello: A brand new 2 Gighertz Pentium with 4 Gigabyte of RAM, a Terabyte  hard drive, and a 48x CD-ROM.

Bud Abbott: That’s terrific, Lou.

Lou Costello: But I don’t know what any of it means!Read More »Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello talk about Lou's new dog, a Christmas present from Mrs. Niles - from the Abbott and Costello radio show

Abbott and Costello talk about Lou’s new dog

Abbott and Costello talk about Lou’s new dog, a Christmas present from Mrs. Niles – from the Abbott and Costello radio show

(From Abbott and Costello’s radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if I’d have been wearing a license plate, he’d have gotten the last three numbers.

Read More »Abbott and Costello talk about Lou’s new dog