Spanish Acting School – The Abbott and Costello Radio Show – Lou Costello wants to be a “serious” actor — and since they need a leading lady for the movie they’re currently shooting (The Naughty Nineties) – Bud Abbott arranges to have Lou take Spanish Acting Lessons from Sid Fields, then see if he can fool the movie studio into thinking that Lou’s a señorita!
Spanish Acting School – The Abbott and Costello Radio Show, originally broadcast May 3, 1945
(cover photo from Mexican Hayride, since this is a radio episode 🙂 )
Professor Melonhead’s School of Spanish Acting
Sid Fields: Can i coach him? … Gentlemen I am a great authority on Spanish customs, .Why I’ve even been a bullfighter! In my native Spain. I used to enter the arena like a matador … I faced the bull like a picador and I fought the bull like a toreador!
Lou Costello: And they carried you out like a cuspidor!
Bud Abbott: Shut up Costello … Mister Mellonhead could you start costellots lessons now?
Sid Fields: Ah yes! here on this paper is a simple Spanish phrase — read it.
Lou Costello: O.K . . .. .Mooches gracious amigo.
Sid Fields: No, no! Not gracious that word is gracias … In Spanish the “c” is pronounced t h! Remember that the “c” is pronounced t h!
Bud Abbott: Talk sense Costello … Let is get on with the lessons!
Sid Fields: Very well, we’ll say that you are lovely Spanish señorita, you meet a gay caballero at your fiesta, when he sees you,,, he playfully clicks his castanets and bangs his maracas together!
Lou Costello: He does?
Sid Fields: Yes , and do you know what you do?
Lou Costello: Sure! I hit him over the head with my fiesta!
Sid Fields: You do nothing of the sort! … You invite him to your home and you cook him a delicious Spanish meal in your patio. Can you remember that?
Lou Costello: I can remember when i didn it have a patio to cook in!
Sid Fields: While you are cooking, the caballero strolls into your kitchen. He admires your frijoles, he slyly sprinkles cheese on your tortillas and places your enchiladas on the back of the hot stove!
Lou Costello: He wouldn’t dare! … He hasn’t got the nerve!
Songs
- Ex-Aerial Gunner Bob Mathew, with Will Osborne and the orchestra, sings “I Should Care“
- Connie Haines sings “Every Time” with Will Osborne and the orchestra.
Cast of characters
- Bud Abbott – straight man
- Lou Costello – comedian.
- Will Osborne and his orchestra
- Connie Haines – singer, occasionally plays the part of Lou’s girlfriend.
- Ken Niles – announcer & antagonist to Lou Costello.
- Elvia Allman – secretary at the studio, a well as the jealous wife in the film they’re shooting.
- Sid Fields – Professor Melonhead’s School of Spanish Acting, of course!
- Mel Blanc – Russian movie producer Cartoony Technicolorovitch!
- Pat McGeehan – Thanks to the Yank of the week.
- Lou Marcelle – Prince Albert commercial