Radio Station with Alan Ladd – Abbott and Costello radio program – Broadcast March 30, 1944
Radio Station with Alan Ladd – Lou thinks he’s inherited a million from his dead uncle, and wants to buy a radio station. Ken Niles, and Alvia Allman challenge Lou to a contest for the announcer job. Lou meets with an important sponsor, played by Alan Reed, and the sponsor’s announcer, played by Mel Blanc. Then, tough guy, Alan Ladd arrives, and supposedly wants to be a radio announcer …
Lou’s dead uncle
Bud Abbott: Waddya mean you’r.e a millionaire?
Lou Costello: It’s true, Abbott – My Uncle Oscar just died and left me all his money in his will!
Bud Abbott: You mean you’re the beneficiary?
Lou Costello: What’s that?
Bud Abbott: Beneficiary! Beneficiary is the man who gets the monoy.
Lou Costello: Benny Fisher ain’t gonna get none of this money! My Uncle loft the dough to me! How did Benny Fisher got into this deal? I’ll take him to court! I’il sue ‘im!
Bud Abbott: Costello, will you be quiet! Beneficiary means that you are your uncle’s heir!
Lou Costello: My uncle’s what?
Bud Abbott: Your uncle’s heirl Heir! H-E-I-R.
Lou Costello: My uncle didn’t have any H-E-I-R – he was baldheaded! .All he had was a mustache …
Announcer contest
Lou, Ken Niles, and Mrs. Niles all want to be the announcer at Lou’s radio station. So Bud suggests a contest — since speed is of the essence on radio, who can recite “Mary had a little lamb” the fastest. Following the rule of three, there are three rounds. Both Ken & Mrs. Niles take a deep breath, and get mostly done reciting before the bell rings. Poor Lou takes up all of his time on the first two rounds with a deep breath! But on the third, he wins!
Enter Alan Ladd
Bud Abbott: Costello, Look, who it is, that famous killer, Alan Ladd!
Alan Ladd: Which one of you fellows is Costello?
Lou Costello: [scared to death] It’s … me … Mr. Ladd!
Alan Ladd: Oh, you, huh? Listen, fatty, I understand you just inherited a million dollarsl
Lou Costello: [stuttering] All right, y’ … y’ got me! G-go ahead, take my money. . .pull out your gun, shoot me fulla holes! Make me look like a swiss cheese …
Then, Alan Ladd (with support from Bud Abbott) do the “Sid Fields takes offense” routine, with Lou being the person who takes offense at everything that’s said.
Not a millionaire?
After some bizarre radio segments, Lou wants to buy Alan Ladd’s radio story. But Alan wants cash! Which leads him back to Lou’s telegram:
Alan Ladd: Wait a minute, J.et me see that telQgrmm3. . .Oh, I thought so, you road it wrong! You haven’t got a million dollars! You haven’t got a cent!
Lou Costello: What d’you mean?
Alan Ladd: I’ll read. this telegram for you — “Dear Lou Costello : Your uncle Oscar has just died and. left you! … A :million thanks for your past favors!”
Songs
- Connie Haines sings “San Fernando Valley“
Cast of characters
- Bud Abbott – straight man
- Lou Costello – comedian.
- Alan Reed (The Flintstones) –
- Alan Ladd (Shane)
- Freddie Rich & his orchestra
- Connie Haines – singer, occasionally plays the part of Lou’s girlfriend.
- Ken Niles – announcer & antagonist to Lou Costello.
- Alvia Allman – as Mrs. Niles, Ken’s wife & Lou’s antagonist.
- Mel Blanc (Neptune’s Daughter; Looney Tunes) – the voice of Oliver Storecheese, for Krinklemeyer’s Krispy, Krunchy, Krackly, Krunkly, Krinkly, Kratchy, Kritchy Biscuits!
- John Brown – Fentley P. Krinklemeyer of Krinklemeyer and Ingersoll – who wants to buy time on Lou’s radio station. With Oliver Storecheese as his spokesman!