3/11/1951
Colgate Comedy Hour – Abbott and Costello – USO Show, originally aired 3/11/1951 – Bud Abbott is both trying to cast a USO show, as well as find funding for it, and Lou Costello “helps”.
Colgate Comedy Hour – Abbott and Costello – USO Show, originally aired 3/11/1951
Who’s on First?
Bud and Lou recreate some of their most famous skits including “Who’s on First?” – which leads to a conversation with “Col. Frome” about their putting on a USO show — if Bud can raise the money.
The USO Show
Bud wants to set up a USO Show, with the approval of “Colonel Frome”. He’s auditioning multiple acts, including the very energetic (and entertaining) dancing of Jesse, James and Carnell.
Telephone Booth
One of their classic routines, Alexander 4444, where Lou’s trying someone who lives a block away, to see if he’s willing to invest in the show. But, the line is repeatedly busy – although other people can call across the country, to Spain, and even a spy calls Communist Russia! The spy has a man on the Okinawa base, and two others. So Lou asks the obvious question: which base is first?
The telephone operator eventually gets short with Lou, and sprays into the speaker with a Seltzer bottle — and in the phone booth, Lou gets soaked!
Bud Abbott: Why are you perspiring?
Lou Costello: I just got off the phone with Niagara Falls.
Haunted House
Bud has the solution to their money needs, courtesy of his Uncle Charlie (Sid Fields). There’s a haunted house nearby, with a hidden treasure! So, off they go …
Lou Costello: [Startled as he opens mummy case] Oh, are you a mummy?
Harem girl: Heavens, no! I’m not even married!
Uncle Charlie: Your brain is too tense.
Lou Costello: Too tense?
Uncle Charlie: Yeah, two-tenths the size of a normal brain!
I’m in Love with Vienna
Jarmilla Novotna does an excellent routine, starting as working as a waitress, reminiscing about her home in Vienna. It then turns into a song routine, singing I’m in Love with Vienna at a fancy dress ball in Vienna. Very well done, and very entertaining.
Don Juan Costello
The closing number, when Lou is “Don Juan Costello” – a funny musical bit, where Lou has to win the hand of his true love (Jarmilla Novotna) over her father’s objections.
Lou Costello: What’s with the toreador?
Bud Abbott: You’re a bullfighter.
Lou Costello: I’m a what?
Bud Abbott: A bullfighter. Can’t you see it? You walk into the ring like a matador, you fight the bull like picador …
Lou Costello: And they carry me out like a cuspidor!
Lou Costello: I must be in love – I feel lousy.
Routines
Songs
- Take Me Out to the Ballgame (song and dance routine opening the show)
- I’m in Love with Vienna (sung by Jarmilla Novotna)
- A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody (sung by Lou Costello in the Higher – Lower routine.
- Don Juan Costello
Cast of characters
- Bud Abbott (The Time of their Lives) … Self – Host
- Lou Costello (The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock) … Self – Host
- Jarmila Novotna (The Search) … Self – Restaurant Owner
- Lon Chaney Jr. Lon Chaney Jr. … Self – Frankenstein Monster (as Lon Chaney)
- Sid Fields (Mexican Hayride) … Self – Uncle Charlie / Carmen’s Father
- Jesse, James and Carnell … Themselves – Dancers
- Ann Thomas (Duffy’s Tavern) … Self
- Milton Frome (Visit to a Small Planet) … Self – Col. Frome / Det. Murphy / restaurant Patron (as Milt Frome)
- Gregg Sherwood (The Golden Gloves Story) … Self
- Al Goodman (Colgate Comedy Hour – Abbott and Costello) … Self – Orchestra Leader
Additional Cast
- James Nolan … Self – Palmolive Spokesman
- Don Pardo … Self – Announcer (voice) (uncredited)