From the Abbott and Costello radio show episode, Christmas Party. Where Bud Abbott simply tries to ask Lou Costello about Lou Costello’s Christmas Tree that he bought …
Bud Abbott: Oh, talk sense. What kind of a tree did you get? Is it a fir?
Lou Costello: Yeah, it’s one of those … [does a take] What did you say?
Bud Abbott: I said, did you get a fir?
Lou Costello: No, I got a tree.
Bud Abbott: Stop this silliness. I want to see your fir!
Lou Costello: See my fir?
Bud Abbott: Certainly.
Lou Costello: What am I, a silver fox?
Bud Abbott: No, no, you dummy, I’m not talking about fur F-U-R, the fir I mean has an ‘I’ in it.
Lou Costello: The fur has an eye in it?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: Just one eye?
Bud Abbott: Certainly there is just one ‘I’ in fir!
Lou Costello: Now ain’t that nice! A one-eyed fur! What kind of animals do you run around with?
Bud Abbott: I’m trying to find out what kind of a Christmas tree you bought. What kind of bark does it have?
The tree’s bark
Lou Costello: What kind of bark?
Bud Abbott: Yes. Didn’t you notice the tree’s bark?
Lou Costello: No, I had my earmuffs on!
Bud Abbott: No, you idiot! Bark, Bark! Bark!
Lou Costello: [barks like a dog]
Bud Abbott: Costello, the bark of the tree is the outer coat! Did the tree have a rough coat?
Lou Costello: No, but the girl who sold it to me had on a smooth sweater.
Bud Abbott: Will you listen to me, please? The bark is the coat you find on the trunk of a fir tree.
Lou Costello: A tree has a trunk?
Bud Abbott: Of course.
Lou Costello: That must be where he keeps his coat and furs!
Bud Abbott: Now, Costello, I’m going to explain this to you. All Christmas trees belong to the Pine family.
Lou Costello: Oh, no they don’t! My Christmas tree belongs to me! Let the Pine family get their own!