Christmas Shopping For Lou’s Girlfriend – Bud and Lou go to a department store to shop for Christmas gifts. But Lou has trouble picking a gift for his girlfriend.
Christmas Shopping For Lou‘s Girlfriend (1944)- The Abbott and Costello Radio Show
Broadcast: December 14, 1944
White Christmas?
Lou Costello: I just got a letter from my cousin, Corporal Hugo Costello. He’s way over in Africa, and her says all the soldiers in his company are gonna have a white Christmas.
Bud Abbott: Why you dummy, it’s very hot in Africa. How could the soldiers have a white Christmas?
Lou Costello: Their cook is gonna bleach the beans!
Bud Abbott: You know, I just bought 100 Christmas seals.
Lou Costello: 100 Christmas seals?
Bud Abbott: Sure!
Lou Costello: For goodness sakes, how’re you gonna feed ’em?
Bud Abbott: Are you going to make much out of Christmas this year?
Lou Costello: I can’t tell until I sell the presents I get.
[Bud hints that Lou should get Bud’s wife a new girdle for Christmas]
Bud Abbott: Don’t you know what a girdle is?
Lou Costello: Oh, sure, it’s … it’s one of those …
Bud Abbott: What is it?
Lou Costello: You gotta have …
Bud Abbott: Yes?
Lou Costello: If you don’t, you sort of got …
Bud Abbott: Yes?
Lou Costello: You got to …
Bud Abbott: What is it?
It’s one of those things that keeps an unhappy situation from spreading!
Christmas shopping
Lou wants to go Christmas shopping for Lou’s girlfriend, Ruby Poolcue. This leads into Bud’s asking for a loan of 50 dollars. Then, after Connie Haines sings “The Trolley Song“, off shopping they go. After a ride on a street car, they make it to the department store.
Department Store
At the store, they run into Lou’s kid brother, Sebastian (also voiced by Lou). Afterward, they run into the store manager, the Yiddish Mr. Kitzel. Pajamas for Lou’s Uncle Artie? Piano for Ruby? After a musical interlude, it’s three hours later — and Lou still hasn’t found a present for Ruby. Then, Bud suggests a pair of mules (bedroom slippers) for Ruby, leading to Lou’s typical misunderstanding. Back to looking for Ruby’s present. Perfume? Beauty kit? Hair products? But when Lou mentions that Ruby’s short & fat like him, the saleslady suggests a fat reducing machine. Which Bud entices Lou to try out — and it melts the fat away. Leaving Lou as a puddle!
Routines
- Loan me 50 dollars
- Abbott’s wife has mules
Cast
- Bud Abbott – straight man
- Lou Costello – comedian. Also does the voice of his fictional young brother Sebastian
- Freddie Rich & his orchestra
- Connie Haines – singer, occasionally plays the part of Lou’s girlfriend
- Ken Niles – announcer & antagonist to Lou Costello.
- Mel Blanc as Orville, the streetcar conductor
- Artie Auerbach as Mr. Kitzel – this episode, he’s working at the department store
Songs
- Freddie Rich and the orchestra plays the instrumental “No Love, No Numbers“
- Connie Haines sings “The Trolley Song“