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Las Vegas [Abbott and Costello Show]

Las Vegas - The Abbott and Costello Show season 1

Las VegasThe Abbott and Costello Show season 1

Las Vegas – The boys have won an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas and decide to take Hillary along. But first they have to buy a used car from Friendly Fields’ Used Car Lot. Later, in Vegas, Lou loses his money and plays a violent game of billiards.

Las Vegas – Act I

Bud Abbott takes his pal Lou Costello to get a drivers license for the trip. After dealing with a comically near-sighted man — who gets his drivers license — it’s Lou’s turn. After some verbal jousting about Lou’s old car, both Lou and the drivers license bureau sign Lou’s application. But it’s a marriage license! “I want a divorce!”

Then it’s off to Friendly Fields Used Car Lot. They meet the various “honest” car salesmen — including Double Crossing Dan! There’s some prop comedy as they look at some cars, including the “deal of the day” …. Which falls apart Lou touches it! But Friendly Fields finally brings out a car for Lou — for $385. Which he talks down to $90, since that’s all that Lou has. Then, in a funny bit, Lou “haggles” him down to … $90!

Las Vegas – Act II

No sooner do they arrive at the hotel/casino in Las Vegas, they meet their neighbor, Mrs. Jackson! She’s lost her husband’s entire week’s pay at the race track — $47. Soft-hearted Lou gives her $47, so her husband won’t find out. She gratefully kisses him, and then takes $10 more — so she can tell her husband she won!

After clownishly “borrowing” Bud’s chair, Lou, Bud, and Hillary sit down. Bud sends Lou to find out the odds on the horses. But a tout cheats him out of a dollar – for a tip sheet with eight guaranteed winners! For yesterday’s winners! Back at the table, neither Bud or Hillary are interested in his tip sheet, for some reason. :). And then Bud and Lou segue into their mudder and fodder routine.

Lou then runs into a wealthy gambler who never loses — named Julius Caesar. And they start a game of pool, continuing the “fodder” routine. Whenever Julius knocks a pool ball into a pocket, it hops up and knocks Lou on the chin! Then Mrs. Jackson comes by, and takes more money from Lou! Finally, it’s Lou’s turn to shoot …. And the cue ball flies back and hits him in the chin!

Routines

Jokes:

Lou Costello: I’ve got a California bankroll. [pulls out a wad of cash]
Bud Abbott: A California bankroll?
Lou Costello: Yeah …. That’s two one-dollar bills wrapped around an orange.

Man at drivers license window: Born?
Lou Costello: There’s some doubt about that …

[asking Lou if he’s ever driven a car]
Lou Costello: I remember the last two letters was like ‘ac’.
Drivers license man: Ac? A-C?
Lou Costello: Ac.
Drivers license man: Never heard of a car with that name.
Bud Abbott: Look, what did it start with — a ‘T’?
Lou Costello: No, it started with gas. Oh no, I remember now …. It was called a “Maniac”.
Drivers license man: Maniac?
Lou Costello: Yeah, ’cause every time I went down the street, people would say “Here comes that maniac”.

Lou Costello: How old is his car?
Friendly Fields: Yes.
Lou Costello: I don’t know, but all I know is, last year when his car burned, he had to give the insurance company $1,100.

Hillary Brooke: Now, Louis, you obviously don’t know anything about horses.
Lou Costello: Yes I do, Hillary, because once I bet on a horse that only had three legs.
Hillary Brooke: And what did he do with the other leg?
Lou Costello: Tripped the other horses.

Bud Abbott: He’s so dumb he sends mash notes to potatoes.

Lou Costello: Never again will I gamble anymore.
Bud Abbott: You mean it?
Lou Costello: Las Vegas taught me a lesson: never to gamble, and I will never gamble again, so help me.
Bud Abbott: Is that from the heart, Lou?
Lou Costello: That’s from my heart.
Bud Abbott: Well, I don’t believe it. You’ll be gambling tomorrow.
Lou Costello: Wanna bet?

Cast of characters

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