Home » Archive by categoryAbbott and Costello routines

Alright Piano Routine

Alright Piano Routine – from the Abbott and Costello Show, where Lou is trying to impress Hillary’s father with his musical ability.  Although he doesn’t have any, with Bud Abbott’s help, and a phonograph record, he tries to fake it!
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Drill Routine

The Drill Routine, as performed by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello in the film "BUCK PRIVATES"
The Drill Routine, as performed by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello in the film “Buck Privates“ The also did a reprise of it on TV in The Abbott and Costello Show
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Milking a Cow

Milk a cow - Lou Costello and Bud Abbott
Abbott and Costello’s milking a cow routine, done in the movie Ride ’em Cowboy as well as on television in the Abbott and Costello Show episode, The Western Story – Lou misunderstand “udder” vs “other”
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I’ve got twenty, too

I've got twenty, two - math clown skit
I’ve got twenty, two – math clown skit This is a classic Abbott and Costello skit, relying on Lou Costello mistaking the phrase “twenty, too” for the number “twenty-two” — taken from the Abbott and Costello film, Rio Rita, where Bud and Lou are trying to divide forty...
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Abbott and Costello loafing script

Loafing - Bud Abbott confuses Lou Costello about loafing around vs. making loaves of bread -- loafing -- at a bakery
A classic Abbott and Costello routine, where Lou Costello misunderstands that by “loafing” — Bud Abbott means that he’s making loaves of bread in a bakery; not loafing around the house like Costello! Taken from their classic television series, The Abbott and Costello Show.
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Herd of Cows

Milking a Cow - Lou Costello, Bud Abbott
Herd of Cows – classic Abbott and Costello routine Herd of Cows is a classic example of Abbott and Costello’s word play, where Lou mistakes the word “herd” for “heard” – enjoy! This version comes from the Abbott and Costello Show, The Western Story
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Abbott and Costello dice routine

Abbott and Costello dice routine
Abbott and Costello Dice Routine The classic Abbott and Costello dice routine, where Bud Abbott decides to fleece his buddy, Lou Costello, by teaching him how to play dice — but begins to suspect that Lou knows too much already! Done many times, including their first hit film,...
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Abbott and Costello horse fodder routine

The Noose Hangs High - where Lou Costello does his horse fodder routine
Abbott and Costello horse fodder routine — a classic Abbott and Costello skit, with Lou Costello mistaking “fodder” for “father”; they did the routine numerous times, on the radio, on their TV show, and in their films  Hit the Ice and The Noose Hangs High.
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Teller skit

The Teller skit, by Abbott and Costello
The Teller skit, by Abbott and Costello The Teller skit is one of Abbott and Costello’s routines, with Lou Costello misunderstanding “teller” for “tell her” – it was done on their radio show more than once, as well as in their movie  Hit the Ice where this is...
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Loan me 50 dollars

Lou Costello and Bud Abbott in Newsweek 1940
Abbott and Costello skit – Loan me 50 dollars One of the classic  Abbott and Costello  routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money.  The skit ends with a...
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