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A very funny bit that Sid Fields did many times, including on their radio show, is to have Sid take offense at something that Lou Costello says. Every time that Lou says anything. It’s a funny routine, provided that doesn’t go on too long. The example below is from The Abbott and Costello Show episode, The Birthday Party. Sid Fields takes offense
Home » Jokes » Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows – an imaginary conversation where Abbott tries to tell Costello how to shut down Microsoft Windows

(Editor’s note: the great comedy team of  Abbott and Costello  passed away before either Bud Abbott or Lou Costello could have used Microsoft Windows™—but isn’t it funny to imagine that they had?)

Lou Costello: Hey, Abbot!

Bud Abbott: Yes, Lou?

Lou Costello: I just got my first computer.

Bud Abbott: That’s great Lou. What did you get?

Lou Costello: A brand new 2 Gighertz Pentium with 4 Gigabyte of RAM, a Terabyte  hard drive, and a 48x CD-ROM.

Bud Abbott: That’s terrific, Lou.

Lou Costello: But I don’t know what any of it means!

Bud Abbott: You will in time.

Lou Costello: That’s exactly why I am here to see you.

Bud Abbott: Oh?

Lou Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert.

Bud Abbott: Well, I don’t know-

Lou Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you’re going to train me.

Bud Abbott: Really?

Lou Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.

Bud Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?

Lou Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.

Bud Abbott: That’s true.

Lou Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?

Bud Abbott: Well, first you press the Start button, and then-

Lou Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.

Bud Abbott: I know, you press the Start button-

Lou Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.

Bud Abbott: I did.

Lou Costello: When?

Bud Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button.

Lou Costello: Why should I press the Start button?

Bud Abbott: To shut off the computer.

Lou Costello: I press Start to stop.

Bud Abbott: Well Start doesn’t actually stop the computer.

Lou Costello: I knew it! So what do I press?

Bud Abbott: Start.

Lou Costello: Start what?

Bud Abbott: Start button.

Lou Costello: Start button to do what?

Bud Abbott: Shut down.

Lou Costello: You don’t have to get rude!

Bud Abbott: No, no, no! That’s not what I meant.

Lou Costello: Then say what you mean.

Bud Abbott: To shutdown the computer, press-

Lou Costello: Don’t say, “Start!”

Bud Abbott: Then what do you want me to say?

Lou Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.

Bud Abbott: But that’s what you do.

Lou Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.

Bud Abbott: Don’t be ridiculous.

Lou Costello: I’m being ridiculous? Well. I think it’s about time we started this conversation.

Bud Abbott: What are you talking about?

Lou Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.



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